As this event was anticipated once the prognosis was known last year, in true Sheena style, she was involved in the overview planning. Naturally the date and some details could not be planned at that stage. Sheena and I discussed together what she would like, and then had further discussions with the church. Over the years, Sheena had attended many funerals and she knew what she did not want, and what she liked. We have tried to meet those specifications.

All along, Sheena has wanted to be treated 'normally as if not ill' as she thought that being morbid was negative. Hence the tone of many of these blog entries. She wanted to be positive in spite of what we knew was going to happen. She was cheerful to the end. Without Sheena here, there is a big void for me, as I would think there is for many people. Sheena would want us to be cheerful and move on.

I hope to see many friends and relations at this celebration of Sheena's life.

It is now a busy time with messages from many people. Sheena was so widely known and liked. Our thanks go out to everyone for their support.

Sunday evening after the meal, I went back to be with Sheena. Given her condition, I was prepared to stay through the night. The breathing was regular but her legs and arms were getting cold. I was not looking at the clock, but about 23:20 Sheena stopped breathing, had a very weak pulse, took a last breath then stopped. It was calm and the stress she has been under for a while is gone. She looked peaceful. Robyn, James and Jean came to the hospital to be with Sheena for a final time.

I am back home to type this. I will now get some rest with what is left of the night. Later this morning I need to organize things, and the details will be announced later.

I so miss Sheena. She was so good at getting things done, it would all be sorted in a jiffy.

Sheena got to share a room with another patient, and the rooms are such that privacy of conversations is non existent, particularly with noisy occupants. So the lung cancer diagnosis for the room-mate was very obvious. This patient would go out to have a fag, and her relatives, all from Wainuiomata, would encourage and aid this endeavor. Mobility was also an issue so getting out needed these assistants to push the wheelchair. There is rarely a single issue so after a diabetic attack, the staff strongly advised the 'fag' trips should stop and this was obviously not to her liking.

During a period when Sheena was being watched over, Jean left the room briefly. When she returned, Jean found the whole ward had a smell of cigarette smoke, and all the staff were there to deal to the problem. The lung cancer patient had lit up while in bed. Jean found this entertaining - a bit like 'soaps' on TV. As a result, the staff confiscated the cigarettes and lighter. Sheena was distressed by it all, so she was then moved to another room to have some quiet time and be allowed to rest. Certainly it is now more pleasant for Sheena.

The medical treatment for Sheena has continued. The high calcium level has been reduced a little, but not enough. It is a fight between the cancer related hormones leaching Ca from her bones and the drugs to purge it from the blood. It is clear from this and other indications that the journey is nearly at an end for Sheena. The morphine dose has been increased and she is comfortable. She sleeps a lot but is sometimes confused by what is going on. She has asked there be no more visitors other than immediate family. Sheena has been generally cheerful through most of this.

I will let you all know as this progresses.

I take off into the sunroom for one if I can manage it and try to sleep two hours. Set in concrete. So if you ring before that time, you may not get a friendly call - we would try.

Better to email and text Jean and Peter, as last resort, ring Peter, and it could be likely you would get in after 3 that day.

thank you all
Sheena

A big thank you to people who have had friends and family to stay, while spending all their time here. A big thank you to the family hosts too.

I was so pleased and it came on Friday afternoon and it has become part of our lives. Therectically it will minimise falls. as I won't be trying silly things.

Sheena

Whilst waiting, Jean organised tea, I had to wait half an hour - so we all sat in the sun. Very convivial.

Three paramedics arrived, eyed my clothing up, and said we were going to use my belt loops! Feet perpendicular to the pavement big hug with him hoisting me up with my belt loops. Simple soiution.

Speaking of crumbs, I have this wonderful wheat pack I made years ago filled with bird seed which I use all the time. It got wet the other night so we zapped it for 4 minutes in the microwave and it dried nicely. I was strolling into the dining room yesterday morning, ready for another zapping spree with it, when suddenly we noticed rather a lot of burnt bird food. I'd burnt rather a lot of holes in the bag and bird seed was pouring out of every hole. Peter was forced to have a bit of a clean up and I suspect there was bird food in the bed too! (speaking of crumbs). Jean and I were a bit naughty because this was Monday the 20th so we left if for our lovely cleaner on the next day. I understand there was bird seed well travelled and he did a great job.

Jean has now made me a new wheat bag filled with rice, and it's pretty fabric too.

Also, after some discussion, I have been started on low dose morphine to assist with my breathing (I thought the asthma was out of control, but alas no), and some help with discomfort on my side. Hence we had to find the baby spoon to find a small enough dose. Quite takes you back to my three small babies.

In addition, I'm now in a raised lazy boy as it was becoming difficult to get out of.

This is all to make me safe - and also to save the belt loops on my jeans because that's how a friend lifted me out of chair on Monday.

Night safety is of course about visibility. The lady was worried I didn't wear my glasses. Of course I assured her, always. She had much to say about not putting on lights when walking on the corridor - well I've got good night vision, and if there's lights on in side rooms of course I can see.

She also said that I had to always ask for help particularly if I didn't want to do a task - all about keeping me happy.

Which leads me to feline frolics. It so happened the previous day Jean had had a wee bit of retail therapy and purchased some catnip and toys. Leastwise I thought it was toys. I hadn't examined the purchase(s) in detail, just seen some excited activity in the sitting room with a yellow toy.

I was having a nocturnal wander down the hall,and quite able to see clearly with just one room light. I noticed a new toy on the hall floor, and thought to myself, "what a big toy". It is a relief I didn't stand on the big toy, because when the laundry light went on, there was a very large, recently deceased rat, with two cats showing a lot of interest in said rat! Well, moving rats don't make me happy, so it was good I was able to wake Peter. Even better to notice that Ada got so excited while he was cleaning up the rat, Ada was just a wee bit unwell into Peter's ancient shoe. Clean shoe, clean floor, happy Sheena, not sure about Peter's happiness on this matter.

We now have a new "keep out the cats in a hurry" cat door. And I'm happy!

He's arrived with his pack, but I understand it contains among many other things, quite a bit of his arborist gear - he's a genius at packing.

Enjoy the typical Wellington day!

Also, lots of people have been bringing us food and that's been so helpful. As I've such a restricted diet (low fat, low roughage, high protein), there are times I am unable to eat some of wonderful looking dishes. These dishes have been great for the rest of the family, so please don't be offended when your food doesn't pass the babyfood test! There are adult food consumers who are really enjoying the varied diet.

thanks so much

I'm fine, just really tired all the time - unless I've just taken one of their dratted steroids they're giving me to boost my appetite. No pain as well.